Does Crossdressing Mean You’re Gay?

Does dressing like a sissy mean that you’re gay? Is there such a thing as being too feminized? What does it mean if you like being called a sissy faggot and feminizing your body? Does using a woman’s name while you’re dressed turn you on? None of these things necessarily mean that you’re gay but being rejected by your girlfriend or wife because you enjoy feminization can cause confusion. Find out why a fetish does not define sexual orientation.

Audrey talks about crossdressing: does it mean you're gay?

If you dress like a sissy does it mean you’re gay?

When it comes to crossdressing, there is no question more controversial or that causes more confusion than whether crossdressing means you’re gay. I get asked this question every day on IM, in chat rooms, and from callers. Many callers are seriously upset and confused by what dressing like a sissy means in terms of their sexuality. To complicate the issue, most sissy callers enjoy and get off on the humiliation of being called a sissy faggot (even when they’re not). Today I thought I’d address some of the issues that you might be experiencing.

How much feminization is too much?

Sometimes callers will ask me to look at their online photos so that I can determine if they’re gay or not. Just yesterday a caller showed me his photos. His eyebrows are professional waxed and arched and he has a manicure with coral polish and pedicure with lavender polish. He has tan lines from where he wears a woman’s bikini at the tanning salon. His bellybutton is pierced with a long tail of rhinestones, and he asked “What man has his bellybutton pierced?” Good question! What he really wanted to know is whether he was so feminized that he had to be gay. This particular caller is happily married and is lucky because his wife is not threatened by his crossdressing and enjoys feminizing him.

Why enjoying name calling does not mean you’re gay

A lot of sissies get off on being called a sissy faggot, sissy slut, or cum slut, and start to get excited when they’re referred to as “her”. Almost all of my sissy callers love having me refer to their manhood as their ‘little clitty’. As many of you know, the thrill of being called a sissy faggot, does not mean that you’re gay. Name calling is a form of sissy humiliation, and can be extremely intoxicating and erotic. If you enjoy being called a cum slut sissy faggot while you’re dressed as a sissy it does not necessarily mean that you’re gay.

Does using a woman’s name turn you on?

Another source of worry is that if you enjoy going by a female name when you’re dressed like a woman, it means you’re gay. Do you like being called ‘Rachel’ when your real name is Ray? Does being called ‘Jasmine’ when your real name is James while you’re dressed up in your best sissy attire make you incredibly hard? Does being turned on when you’re called by your feminine name mean that you’re really in the closet? For some callers who are moving toward a transgender lifestyle, a feminine name is a must and accompanies their transition. But if you’re someone who just likes to wear panties and gets excited by sissy behavior on a part-time basis, being called a female name doesn’t mean you’re gay.

Why crossdressing leads to rejection and rejection leads to sexual confusion

Sadly I can’t tell you the number of callers I have who have revealed their hidden desire to dress like a woman to their wife/girlfriend only to be met with a very negative reaction. From screaming insults to silent disapproval, the bottom line is that most women’s initial reaction to their partner’s crossdressing feels like painful rejection. Many women assume that this means that their partner is gay and can’t get past the traditional idea that the man should wear the pants. Because their partner feels so strongly about this, often sissies feel more confused about their sexuality. They don’t feel gay, but their partner insists that they must be if they’re dressing like a woman.

Crossdressing is a fetish not a sexual orientation

Some crossdressers (or sissies, depending on what you prefer to be called) are gay, meaning they want to have sex with men. But many crossdressers just enjoy the pleasures of dressing like a woman and want nothing more than to have sex with their wife or girlfriend. I haven’t found an exact percentage, but according to most of the research that I’ve read, the majority of crossdressers aren’t gay! I have callers tell me that if their wife would just accept them and allow them to crossdress, they would never want to be with anybody else! Instead many sissies hide their clothes and keep their sexual preferences a deep dark secret. A part of their sexuality that brings joy and pleasure becomes tainted with shame.

More on feminization and educating your partner coming soon!

If you like to dress but are feeling rejected by your partner and confused by whether this means you’re gay, just know that a fetish, no matter how feminine it might seem, does not equate sexual orientation. My upcoming posts will deal with the woman’s perspective on crossdressing, how to educate your partner and make her understand that you still desire to be with her, and ways to help her enjoy your crossdressing as much as you do! I will also delve into some more aspects of feminization that may be worrying you, so stay tuned!

P.S. I always appreciate comments and would love it if you would share your thoughts on this post below. To schedule time with me you can email me or check my schedule right here on my twitter feed. I work noon to midnight PST most days (that’s 3pm to 3am EST) but often squeeze in a bit more time in the mornings and evenings when there are special requests.

8 thoughts on “Does Crossdressing Mean You’re Gay?”

  1. Goddess Audrey, outstanding post. I agree with you that most sissies or crossdressers are not gay. I know I am not. I enjoy it because of the humiliation that goes along with it. I also enjoy it because I love serving. There are many reasons to crossdress or be a sissy. Each individual is different for their reason. Looking forward to reading your future posts on crossdressing.

  2. Great Mistress …… bow for u .. it is a great an amazing article … i would like to be called in a women name i would like o thank you very much for your blog

  3. Dear Empress Audrey,
    Thank you so much for this post. I have had many of these questions lately because I am new to crossdressing. I have been very excited about my new found discovery and have wondered what it all meant. You sound like you truely know what us sissys and c/d go through. I am looking forward to more post from you.

  4. great post. you nailed it well, Empress. I do not consider myself gay at all and have been/am in relationships with women. I’ve nevr been with a man and have no desire to do so. However, I do love crossdressing when I can, being called women’s name, and called names that you note as forms of sissy humiliation are all big turn ons for me – would love to have all that and more feminization done to me by a mistress more often. I do fear rejection if my sissiness were to come out, so keep it hidden for the most part. I do crave to do more, but balance that out with “real life” and relationships and attitudes of others on this.

  5. Miss Audrey,

    Thank you so much for writing about this topic. I have read many “sexual studies” on cross-dressing and the ones that I’ve read indicate that over 78% of male cross-dressers are in fact heterosexual. And, what keeps them “in the closet” is a vast misunderstanding of it. Most males get their first taste of “dressing” in their teenage years and boy does it make a life-long impression.

    Also, I’ve found that with a female partner, it has been best to be open & honest about your cross-dressing. I usually approach the topic by wearing a pair of panties under my male clothes, usually on around the third “sexual” date. This means that the woman already knows that I can “be all man”, but as I explain to her, in detail, how my fetish started, my experiences with it, feelings about it…..i.e. not lying or BS’ing her. Being open and honest goes a LONG WAY with women. At first I found it hard to be open about it, but honesty has paid off in spades!


    Sissy Stacy
    SF CA

  6. I was femme and gay and dressed as a woman and dated men before I transitioned from male to female, and with facial feminization, breast implants, and estrogen became a beautiful feminine transwoman.

  7. I discovered my passion for panties and bras even before puberty, but, of course, puberty instilled it in me and I remember promising myself that I would never deny myself that pleasure. It never really progressed beyond panties and bras except for a few other foundation garments, I never really had the intend to look like or pose as a female. It was always the sexual thrill of being forced or the humiliation. Seems funny because I consider myself anything but submissive but I do like the submissive roll in sexual play.

    I distinctly remember asking myself when I was about thirteen if I would have rather been born a girl. I remember having to think about it a bit, then coming up with the idea that it might be cool if you could switch back and forth, but it wasn’t long before I decided that I was so happy to be a guy because if I were to be a girl, there would be no way I would have this incredible fascination with panties and bras like I do as a boy.

    So, all in all, I’m old now, I’ve learned a lot, I’ve learned that when you are up front and enter a relationship with full disclosure, you just might find a wife like mine who embraces my fetish and shares in the thrills and excitement. Maybe there is something to that old cliche, “The truth will set you free.”

  8. I love wearing panties and can think of nothing but giving oral sex to a shemale or a guy but have never done it what dose this mean?

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